Pyro and the Plooze
by ColdFusion180
Summary: A tale which is told in a manner quite loose, as that used by the late and the great Dr. Seuss.


**Pyro and the Plooze**

In the mid of the day at the Acolyte base  
While working on things at a leisurely pace,  
Sealed up in his office with bearing and poise,  
Magneto the mutant did hear a strange noise.

He stopped and he listened to the bizarre tone  
Then Magneto the mutant let out a small groan.  
"Not again." He put a gloved hand to his brow.  
"What are those dumb, brain-damaged fools doing now?"

With a sigh Magneto rose up from his chair.  
He moved to the door, helmet set on his hair.  
He strode out his office, not sure where to go  
And was nearly run down by a panicked Pyro.

"Watch it!" Magneto snapped quite angrily.  
"I've told you to stop running about blindly!  
And…hold on," Magneto glared at Pyro once more.  
"Just why **are** you running and rushing about for?"

"No reason," Pyro gulped with a quick nervous laugh.  
"I just want to cut down my transit time by half."  
Magneto loomed over, his patience worn through.  
"Pyro," he growled slowly. "Just what did you do?"

"Um," Pyro paused briefly. "Now don't get all bent,  
But I kinda gone had a minor accident.  
I was taking a break from burning some wooding  
While eating a big bowl of raspberry pudding."

"When I saw you'd left open your private lab door,  
And since I've not been allowed inside before,  
I wandered inside to take a passing peek  
And saw all this stuff that was shiny and sleek."

"There were flasks. There were slides. There were big strange machines.  
Beakers, microscopes and complex display screens.  
I bent over to look at a tube marked 'Radon'  
When my hand bumped a switch and a green light came on."

"It shined on my pudding right next to some dials.  
I dropped it, upsetting a row of full vials.  
They fell into my bowl, broke and swished all about.  
I decided right then it was time to get out."

"I reached for my bowl, but I slipped and I missed.  
I hit a huge button the size of my fist.  
The vials' contents were turning my pudding to cream.  
Then my bowl was engulfed by a weird laser beam!"

"I looked on to see what the laser would do.  
It turned my poor raspberry pudding half blue!  
Suddenly the laser, it fizzed and shut off,  
Emitted some smoke and I let out a cough."

"My pudding, it sat there, red-blue and aglow.  
Then to my surprise it then started to grow.  
It outgrew the bowl, from a flask took a bite.  
Then the pudding began to eat all things in sight!"

"It ate a centrifuge! It ate a whole chair!  
Soon it was larger than an adult brown bear.  
It turned for a moment, as if it could see.  
Then my pudding it paused and it lunged right at me!"

"I backpedaled like mad! I ran right out the door!  
I've never been chased by some pudding before.  
I slammed the door tight like the cage to a trap.  
The pudding, it broke down the door with a snap!"

"It shook and it roared! It was unleashed for good!  
And me? I ran from there as fast as I could.  
So you see," Pyro gulped. "Less you misunderstood,  
I'm running away from some raspberry pudd."

"You what?" blinked Magneto. His jaw took a dive.  
"You're saying your raspberry pudding's **alive**?  
You expect me to believe that ludicrous tale?  
Your lie is for naught! It is to no avail!"

"There's no way that fool story could ever be true.  
You think I'm as dumb and gullible as you?"  
Magneto paused as he built up more steam.  
And that's when they heard the first ominous scream.

"Uh oh," Pyro gulped as he prepared to flee.  
Magneto looked shocked. "Oh no! You're kidding me!"  
When from 'round the corner there appeared a mob  
Of three frantic mutants and a big red-blue blob.

The blob! It was huge! It filled the whole hallway!  
It stretched and it flowed without any delay.  
It lunged for Sabertooth, Piotr and Remy,  
Who spotted Magneto and yelled desperately,

"This thing's after us! It came out of nowhere!  
We can't seem to stop it!" He cried in despair.  
He tossed some charged cards and the blob they did hit.  
They blew up, but failed to hurt the blob one bit.

"Sabes tried to shred it, but its hide would not rip!  
Piotr can't throw it, he can't get a grip!  
It can not be punched and it can not be split  
And it eats everything that we throw right at it!"

"So help!" Remy gasped as they past Magneto.  
"We gave it our best, how 'bout you have a go!"  
Magneto glanced back at the blob right before  
A large metal wall went and rose from the floor.

Magneto used his powers for one second flat.  
He said, "Let the blob try and just get through that!"  
But slowly and surely with barely a stall  
The blob it began to eat _straight through the wall!_

"What the heck **is **that thing?" Remy griped like a pro.  
"Trust me," hissed Magneto. "You don't want to know."  
"Since you asked," Pyro said. "I do have some news.  
I've decided to call my ex-pudding the Plooze."

"The Plooze?" Remy blinked. "That's not even a word!  
And 'ex-pudding''s a term that I never have heard."  
He prepared to say more, but was stopped just right then  
As the Plooze ate the wall and surged forth once again.

Magneto prepared to give the Plooze the rod,  
But was quickly knocked out by a stray pseudopod.  
He was thrown in his office and out of their sights  
As the Plooze moved on towards the four poor Acolytes.

"Run!" Piotr cried. "Or we'll be its next meals!"  
And run they all did with the Plooze on their heels.  
"It's gonna get us!" yelped Pyro in fear.  
"I think it is time we all got out of here!"

"Make for the garage!" Remy's spine filled with chills.  
"We'll mount up our bikes and we'll head for the hills!"  
But the Plooze took a shortcut and crashed through a wall,  
Reappearing before them and filling the hall.

"We're cut off!" Remy stopped and began to perspire.  
He turned to Pyro. "Can't you set it on fire?"  
"Why not?" Pyro shrugged. "We've got nothing to lose."  
He took his lighter and shot flames at the Plooze.

The Plooze, it then burbled. It gurgled. It burped.  
It rippled and murmured. It gargled. It chirped.  
Then it surged past the flames without even an 'Ooph!'  
"Oh great," Remy groaned. "The darn thing's fireproof!"

"Firebug you are dead!" Sabertooth gave a hiss.  
"I swear that I'll kill you if we live through this!"  
"Come on!" urged Piotr. "A safe place we must find!"  
They ran off again with the Plooze right behind.

They ran through the base with the Plooze at their backs.  
Remy dropped some smoke bombs to cover their tracks.  
But the Plooze, it pursued them. It stayed on their scent.  
It continued to chase them wherever they went.

They ran through the rec room. The infirmary.  
Through halls, the Sphere Hangar and Storage Room Three.  
The Plooze kept right with them oozing all the time.  
While leaving behind in its wake some thin slime.

At last the Plooze managed to trap and entomb  
The four Acolytes inside the Control Room.  
It entered the room then the Plooze it moved toward  
The mutants backed up against the control board.

"We're trapped! It has got us!" Pyro let out a cry.  
He blinked for a second. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"  
"Well," Sabertooth grunted. "Since we all seem cursed,  
I say we throw Pyro to be eaten first!"

"NO!" cried his teammates, but he ignored their cues  
And threw a pale Pyro straight into the Plooze.  
Pyro yelped as he hit the strange Plooze with a _Smack!  
_He tried to break free and he tried to go back.

But the Plooze wrapped around him. It brought him in close.  
It touched his bare skin and he thought, _This is gross!_  
It oozed 'round his legs, 'round his shoulders and thighs.  
Pyro yelped in fear and he clamped shut his eyes.

'Twas then Pyro realized he wasn't quite dead.  
He was not being eaten, he still had his head.  
The Plooze, it just stayed there and clung to his form  
And to his surprise the Plooze felt rather warm.

The Plooze it was soft. It was smooth. It felt good.  
And then Pyro listened and he understood.  
"Hey mates! I'm okay! I'm actually quite snug!  
The Plooze, what it's sought all this time is a **hug**!"

And Pyro, why he laughed and he hugged the Plooze back.  
And the Plooze, why it cooed and it picked up the slack  
By stroking his hair down as if it was fur.  
Then the Plooze, why it sighed and it started to purr.

Meanwhile the Acolytes seemed carved out of rock  
As they stood there in silence and stared on in shock  
While Pyro and the Plooze hugged each other in bliss.  
Remy managed to stammer, "I don't believe this!"

"It's all way too much! It has broken my brain!"  
"It's nuts!" Sabertooth growled. "This whole thing's insane!"  
"It's safe," Piotr nudged the Plooze with his boot.  
"It means us no harm and it is kinda cute."

Then in flew Magneto and his head he did clasp.  
He spotted the Plooze and he let out a gasp.  
"What are you fools doing? You all have a job  
To fight and destroy that insidious blob!"

"Hey boss!" Pyro chirped and he waved at him twice.  
"The Plooze, it likes hugs and it's really quite nice.  
It's gentle and kind and it's smart too I bet.  
Please boss can't we keep the Plooze here as a pet?"

"No way!" roared Magneto whose face was a frown.  
"That blob is a menace and it's going down!  
I'll crush it and kill it and when I am through  
I'll go and repeat the same process on you!"

The Plooze, it then rumbled and flushed just a tad.  
"Uh oh," Pyro blinked. "I think you made it mad."  
The Plooze gently hugged and let go of Pyro  
Then it let out a roar and leapt at Magneto.

Magneto screamed "AAARRRGGGHHH!" while at him the Plooze snatched.  
He tried to fight back, but was clearly outmatched.  
He flew 'round like mad. Like a wild drunken coot.  
Then escaped from the room with the Plooze in pursuit.

"No worries," said Pyro. "The Plooze won't get hurt.  
It's invulnerable and a well-made dessert."  
"I still don't believe it," Remy shook his head.  
"I gotta lie down. I am going to bed."

Sabertooth left as well while Piotr remained.  
He asked, "What wise words from this mess have we gained?"  
"Just these," Pyro smiled, not the least bit perplexed.  
"You never know what will happen 'round here next!"

**********

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.**


End file.
